My tutor dropped the name Tim Lott in my previous feedback, mainly for the way he writes his family column and how he talks so openly about himself and others.
I have just read through his a couple of his more recent columns and came across his post from 7th April 2017 entitled "When does close friendship turn into emotional infidelity?".
I must say that I found this post interesting and rather relevant, in a way, to this project.
One of the first questions he poses is "Just what does it mean to be emotionally unfaithful in a time when email, instant messaging and mobile phones give us more private ways to connect than ever before?"
I can relate with this. My marriage is solid and I completely trust my husband, but when he spends so much time on his phone, and I know he does message other girls, I cant help but wonder why? Or what he is doing/talking with/talking about. To him, he is just talking to a friend, however I find it quite disrespectful to message, for long periods of time, members of the opposite sex. Especially if you are married. I would never dream of messaging a friends husband, or anyones husband for that matter, for a chat. So I find it difficult to comprehend those that find no problem with it. Do I trust my husband?...yes! Do I worry about it?.....No. Am I happy about it?....No!
But this is is where social media and modern technology create an issue. You can hide this sort of behaviour from your spouse/partner/friends. There is no way of them knowing that this is happening, given that they cant check your phone, etc. And it's that secrecy that I find disturbing.
Plus it's a whole other level in regards to teaching our children the dangers of certain individuals online.
My daughter and I were talking yesterday about social media after she had had a talk about it in school. She was talking about connecting with her friends and was quite proud of the fact that even though she has a Musical.ly account, she didn't have any other social media at all. She only has an iPod so her friends can email her or iMessage, some can even Facetime. But she looked confused when she asked me about connecting with my own friends online when I was younger and I said we didn't have the internet when I was younger. Her reply was "yeah, but you could still message them" to which she was even more confused when I again told her, we didn't have mobile phones when I was her age. I didn't have a mobile until I was 17 years old and even then it was pay as you go, £10 would last you over a week and when you could get enough signal to send a text message, they cost 12p each!
She forgets that this is still relatively new technology but I forget that it's all she's ever known. So we have to adjust to the fact that this is their norm now. But the dangers of social media are hard to teach when it comes to being careful of who they talk to online and how much information they share with that person. I am currently engrossed in the MTV show Catfish, hosted by Nev Schulman and Max Joseph, where people contact them to find out if the people that they have been speaking to online for however long, are actually real people and who they say they are. Majority of the time, they aren't and it's only a few that get their happy ending, but mostly it's people out to play games with others, making up fake people and fake back stories and usually just a joke that went too far.
Trying to teach this to our children is not only vital, but an unfortunate side effect of modern technology. There are people out there who just want to trick others. And these people could be the mailman, the lady down the street or even your own spouse.
So back to my point about this post - I know the post is about emotional infidelity but social media plays a huge part in this nowadays. You don't have to meet people in secret anymore, they are just a few clicks away, without the fear of getting seen by people who may know you or your spouse.
In relation to Jim Lott's writing style, I admire his truth and honesty. He is authentic and sincere in his opinions and doesn't hold back when talking about his own life and experiences. I feel this is a great quality when reading writing such as this. People can relate and have their own experiences when someone talks so openly. It doesn't feel forced or fake at all and gives the reader an insight into him as a person. I like people who say it like it is. Who you know will be honest genuine. I don't like two faced people or others who tell you what they think you want to hear and from reading a few of Lott's columns, I can see he is neither of these people.
I am documenting my photographs with diary style text, where I am writing in a similar way. I am accompanying the daily photographs with a written account of who, when and what devices are being used a) to emphasize the usage that take place daily in my house and b) to outline exactly how much time is being taken up daily by these devices. I write in an honest and open way, much like Lott. I wont sit there sounding all perky and happy if I'm fed up and annoyed that my kids are nagging to go on the computer again and I wont pretend I'm not bothered when my husband wont put his iPad down and get dressed. I will tell it like it is. Mood swings and all.
References:
Lott, J., (2017), When does close friendship turn into emotional infidelity? [Online], Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/07/when-does-close-friendship-turn-into-infidelity-marriage-intimate-secrets, [Accessed May 10th 2017]
Bibliography:
Lott, J., (2017), In a moment of existential crisis, I took my child's teddy to bed and held it all night [Online], Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/28/in-a-moment-of-existential-crisis-i-took-my-childs-teddy-to-bed-and-held-it-all-night, [ Accessed May 10th 2017]
Lott, J,. (2017), Mamma Mia! It's hard to praise mothers everywhere and not insult anyone[Online], Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/24/mamma-mia-praise-mothers-everywhere-insult-anyone, [Accessed May 10th 2017]
MTV, (2017), Catfish: The tv show [Online], Available at: http://www.mtv.co.uk/catfish-the-tv-show, [Accessed May 10th 2017]
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